im not sure how i feel reading back on all my old bebo blogs. some make me smile, some make me think, make me remember, and others make me outright laugh. i know i complained a lot having to read "catcher in the rye" for english this year, but i can sorta see where holden's coming from. things can change so drastically over time, and theres so very little we can do about it. well there are those points in the road where you know you have decisions to make, but i think some things are inevitable, unavoidable.
210daysago.
What about a teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or just crack up with me? I could invent a teakettle that reads me stories in my Dad's voice, so I could fall asleep, or maybe a set of kettles that sings the chorus of "Yellow Submarine", which is a song by the Beatles, who I love, because entomology is (not really) one of my raisons d'etre, which is a french expression that i know. Another good thing is that I could train my anus to talk when I farted. If I wanted to be extremely hilarious, I'd train it to say, "Wasn't me!" every time I made an incredibly bad fart. If I farted in the Hall of Mirrors, which is in Versailles, which is outside of Paris, which is in France, obviously, my anus would say, "Ce n'etai pas moi!"
What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboarded down the street at night you could hear everyone's heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone's hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together get their period at the same time, which is something I know about, but don't really wanna know about.
That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier on a houseboat, because the babies wouldn't have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line of a marathon, it would sound like war.
And also, there are so many times when you need to make a quick escape, but humans dont have their own wings, or not yet, anyway, so what about a birdseedshirt?
Anyway.
Isnt it so weird how the number of dead people is increasing even though the earth stays the same size, so that one day, there isnt going to be room to bury anyone anymore? I read somewhere that there are more people alive now than have died in all of human history. In other words, if everyone wanted to play Hamlet at once, they couldnt, because there aren't enough skulls.
So what about skyscrapers for dead people that were built down? They could be underneath the skyscrapers for living people that are built up. You could bury people one hundred floors down, and a whole dead world would be underneath the living one. Sometimes i think it would be weird if there were a skyscraper that moved up and down while its elevator stayed in place. So if you wanted to go to the 95th floor, you'd just press the 95 button, and the 95th floor would come to you. Also, that could be extremely useful, because if you're on the 95th floor, and a plane hits below you, the building could take you to the ground, and everyone could be safe, even if you left your birdseed shirt at home that day.
thursday, october 23, 2k8
9:26pm.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
thirtytwo.
