i began to wonder last night exactly who was stringing who along.
the problem with me thinking that i couldnt have possibly contributed to our situation, and that it was all you, is that i'll never know what YOU'RE thinking. maybe you're clinging onto the same chain of logic. maybe it affects you the same way it makes me want to sob, want to giggle, want to never sleep or eat or move or speak again, the same way it makes me tremble.
or maybe it doesnt.
then again, ill never know. you have such a reputation.
although i'll never see into YOUR head, i have mine sitting on a neck and two shoulders that have seen a shitload of drama and carried quite a bit of weight. i delved into the deepest, darkest corners of my mind trying to figure out what makes me do some of the things i do, but i found nothing i cared to admit. search rendered useless by my own inability to face the truth.
for once, i will finish what i start, and i will see this to the end. i chose my stance for whatever reasons i had at the time and it'd be against my character to give in now, hey? i'll deal with things as they come, because thats what ive always done, and its gotten me where i am now. i cant really say if where i am now is good, bad, or somewhere in between but dont fix it 'til its broke, i say. really, really, broke.
BLOG TOO SERIOUS? SHIT, FIX IT! SAY SOMETHING ILLOGICAL.
Here, take this. Or something.
